Holiday Weekend

Summer is right around the corner with the kick off Memorial Day Weekend. The weekend was good. I picked up the kids after school and we left right afterwards for our trek up north. Hubby ended up not going. He wasn't feeling the greatest and I gave him the option of staying home. We would have loved to have him with us, but traveling when you are feeling lousy just isn't fun. So, he stayed home for some R & R.

We made good time for our trek and traffic was surprisingly light my entire way. Not that it was nonexistent, but for Memorial Weekend kick-off I didn't have any issues at all. It took us about four hours total, but that included a stop in King City for some dinner. The kids were ready to get out and we were all ready to eat.

Visiting with L was fun and we did a lot of catching up. She is VERY pregnant and is one of those who get very uncomfortable in the last month of pregnancy. That is exacerbated by an old back injury as well. She kept trucking on though. We visited the Egyptian Museum based on the recommendation of J. The kids absolutely LOVED it! They were much more interested in it than I thought they would be. I thought the real mummies and stuff would freak them out, but it didn't in the least. They wanted to know all about them. I must have read every info card in the place to them. I did give them the Reader's Digest version as some of it was over the top for them. When we first arrived we happened to start out in the room with the pseudo pyramid. It has a dark entrance and you stroll through the maze and look at all the stuff. Lyd and L stayed behind because L didn't want to do more stairs than she really had to. Well, when the rest off us appeared from behind them from the other room boasting how cool it was we all had to go again. Roo though seized the opportunity to scare the bejeebers out of his sister. He ran ahead a little bit and ducked behind a wall. When Lyd rounded the corner, he pounced while roaring loudly! She squealed and was immediately pissed! I almost wet myself laughing so hard. Mind you, this place is not well lit and in the eyes of a six year old, probably a bit creepy, which was completely taken advantage of by the 5 year old brother. I did not take any photos as I had forgot my camera and there was no flash photography allowed in the museum.

The next day we went to the zoo and park downtown. It is a cute little zoo and just about right for a very pregnant woman and three children under the age of 6. Little Char is only 19 months old, so walking for long times was not a good idea. About the end of this journey though, Lyd began to complain of a sore throat. It was indeed red, and we bugged out Sunday as planned, albeit a little bit earlier. The ride home was uneventful. The kids slept about half way, which was a nice break from the constant questions of, "how much longer" and "where are we?"

Sunday was uneventful. Hubby took Roo to work at a friends house. Hubby said he didn't really want to go but had promised Dan. I wasn't too thrilled with that since I wanted to spend time with him, but what could I do? I cleaned house, went grocery shopping and took care of my little Lyd, who was now running a bit of a fever. The entire time I was a bit miffed with hubby being gone the entire day. Oh, the fact that the monthly curse came for visit was just a finishing touch. I knew it was going to come since I KNEW exactly when I ovulated. I was feeling very emotional and knew tears were going to be inevitable at some point in the day.

Tears came...only after hubby came home though. I wasn't too kind to him when he first came home, to which he wasn't very kind in return. We finally started to talk a bit, but he wasn't ready to talk yet. Just ready to get very offended and march off out of the room. Fine. I did my thing amidst periods of tears. I would just go fold laundry or something and give myself a little minnie cry. Once, Lyd came in to talk to me while I was running the bath for Roo. She kept trying to tell me something, and I kept telling her to close the door. She was so sweet, and it was just making me cry all the more. I finally looked up at her, and she immediately asked, "mommy? why are you crying?" I just told her, "mommies just need to cry sometimes". She accepted that answer without question and looked at me while saying, "okay...I will just leave you alone then so you can cry". Off she marched. After that fit of crying was over, I continued on, and hubby decided he was okay to talk now. So we talked some, not a lot, but some. He got some stuff off his chest, but I didn't really say much. He said he would help me with the laundry and stuff since he had been playing all weekend etc. Well, half an hour later he was asleep. I was not a happy woman. I know I shouldn't have gotten so mad by it, but I was.

I got both kids all settled for the night and took some time to myself to fiddle around on the computer. I didn't accomplish anything other than waste time. I finally grabbed my pillow and was heading out of the room ro sleep on the couch. Hubby was still in the middle of the bed and I wasn't about to ask him to move. (insert martyr moment). Well, he woke up about that time and saw me heading out the door with pillow in hand. He said he would get under the covers and that I could sleep in there. But if I wanted to sleep on the couch that was up to me. I came to bed. Layed there for a moment and it all started. I cried, cried, and cried. Hubby asked me why I was crying. I just told him I was very, very, very sad. I got up and went into the bathroom closed the door without turning on the light. I sat on the John and grabbed a big towel. I knew a box of tissues was not going to match anything I was going to do. I cried, sobbed, and cried some more. Hubby walks in after a few minutes putting his arm around me telling me I should come lay down. I tell him now, I need to be in here for a while. He stands there trying to console me while I just let it all out. I finally started talking to him telling him why I have been bitchy, and unresponsive etc, and why I don't tell him how my day goes anymore. In short because he doesn't listen. One of his complaints is that I don't tell him anything...Just give him short cryptic answers. Well, when one gets shut down before they are finished telling anything, then cryptic happens. I unloaded on him. Not with anger, nor with vengeance...I just told him everything that had been bugging me. I told him I quit telling him stuff when after he would ask me, he would pick up a book, or start reading the paper and I would just quit talking. And he never noticed. Never asked for me to keep going etc. Now, I know better than to try and talk to him when he is already reading. He doesn't hear anything when he is reading. Though, I can't understand it (I hear everything when reading) I respect it. I know other people who are not on this planet when they are reading. But, to ask me how my day went and then proceed to pick up a paper and tune me out while reading was not acceptable. I told him I had been giving him a wider berth because I didn't really want to talk with him since he never listened anyway, and if he did have anything to answer back it was negative etc. there were lots of other things I told him which I am not going to delineate, but I finished by telling him I simply feel like a tool. Not a person, not a wife, but a tool. He seemed genuinely shocked by all this information I flooded him with. He was clueless. I didn't do this to heap it all in shoulders that it was all his fault, it isn't, but a fair share of it was his. We then went to lay down in bed and he was very apologetic and said he would pay more attention to his own actions etc and that he never wanted to hurt me. He then asked if I was going to leave him. I don't want to leave him...we just need to get back into a place of mutual respect and compassion. I love having our children, but they do put a certain stress on a relationship.

I didn't go to work on Monday. Lyd was still feeling under the weather, and I woke up looking like I had gone 13 rounds with Mike Tyson. Nothing like falling asleep after a serious cry. I took Roo to school while Lyd stayed home with Grandpa. Hubby called after Lyd and I had been to Office Depot (after an hour or so it was clear that Lyd could have went to school). I didn't take her though. I have been eyeing a new desk and bookshelf to put in our bedroom. I finally bought it since it was on sale. It saved me about $100. Mark called and asked if I wanted to come look at some cars. I was surprised, but he said they had some good discounts at work, and with his employee discount it could save us quite a bit. I am not really looking for a new car. I still owe on my current 2001 Impala which I love. It will have 100K on it very soon. I put lots of miles on my cars commuting back and forth to work. Lyd and I went to look at cars. They were nice and we had fun driving them, but I am still don't think I need a new one. I had a hair appointment at 2:00 and then had to pick up Roo at 3:00. I have been seeing my hairdresser for over 7 years now. She is a hoot, and she does the best stuff with my hair. So, I was telling her about my weekend with hubby and said he called me to look at new cars. She quickly replied, "Oh you should have let him go a little longer! You could have got a new house!" We both laughed ourselves silly over that.

I need to go get my little ones from school.